A letter to the one who pretended loving her

Dear,
When I agreed to your decision of saying goodbye but none of us left I still thought of myself as yours and you as mine. But when you disappeared last time I felt immense pain inside me like the heart was snatched out of my chest and I was still alive to feel every single vain tear apart. When you found yourself someone new and you gave yourself to her I was at loss of words. I tried to focus on the goodbye which was more like I’ll always be here. I tried to be happy for you but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to hate you for hurting me that way but I did, still do. I want to forgive and forget but I can’t help but feel like a victim of your mind games. You haunt me each night showing off your new lady and laughing at the fact how easy that was for you to replace me. You’ve become the reasons for my sorrow.  I don’t know what lies in future I wish it’s good for you at least. But I can’t help wishing for you to realize that you’ve destroyed me to the point where there’s no coming back. All I wish is to take away the power over me you have before it’s too much.
Still yours,
Anyways.

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Them II

She took out her keys,  got in her car, and started driving. She had no plan to go anywhere. She had just turned the music player on and kept driving wherever the road would take her. Unconsciously she was thinking of him and what they talked about 5 mins before she wished him well and said their last goodbye. It wasn’t the first time they had parted.
While she was lost in thoughts. She heard a familiar song.
*****
They were laying on her tarece under a stary sky. It was summer and her birthday. He had came to her place to wish her with his favourite vegan chocolate cake. So typical him! (Hehe..) He had also made her a dvd of their memories. All the photos and videos of their and the playlist of their personal love songs.
She said if she could ask for something for her birthday. Of course he said yes. So she asked him to sing her a song. “Sing you something, I’m terrible at it. Haha I’m not singing”, he said. She frowned and got back to gazing the stars.
Suddenly she heard him sing.

The little things you do for me
And nobody else make me feel good
Little things you do for me
Making me smile
When no one else could that’s why
I like to sit next to you
And hear is your mad stories
I know they are not true
And i like that we share
A secret or two, together!


It was the same song playing on music player. They have always been the kind of couple who did little things for each other to make other feel special. Where is it all gone now? She finally lost it and cried herself rivers. By the side of a huge road somewhere on the highway she stopped her car and cried her heart out.
TUDles..❤

She…

It sucks. It sucks wanting to be wanted by the one you want. She may not be making any sense whatsoever to others. But she exactly knew what she was going through. And it was surely hurtful.
She was felt special by him whenever he needed her. But that wasn’t love on his part. That was something cruel. Something that crushed her heart. Bruised her soul. Shattered all her faith. Made it impossible for her to dream.
She loved him even though she knew he was not good for him. She loved him with all his flaws and all his faults. She loved him with all his darkness. She would hug him nd touch his face with gentle care when he would get low. And in return he would leave her hanging there and would keep her waiting when she needed him the most. He would make her feel like she was not good enough and then he would disappear. And it wasn’t just once.(She is an emotional fool, I must say.)
This sucks. Every time she promises herself that she won’t let him get back in her life. And every time she ends up letting herself down.
She was losing hope. She was losing herself. Guess that’s exactly how heartbreaks work. If it is her fault she wonders. If it’s always been her that things never work for her in love life. May be it is. But there’s nothing to be done about it. She shall just put that smile on her face and carry on with her life.

TUDles..❤