It sucks. It sucks wanting to be wanted by the one you want. She may not be making any sense whatsoever to others. But she exactly knew what she was going through. And it was surely hurtful.
She was felt special by him whenever he needed her. But that wasn’t love on his part. That was something cruel. Something that crushed her heart. Bruised her soul. Shattered all her faith. Made it impossible for her to dream.
She loved him even though she knew he was not good for him. She loved him with all his flaws and all his faults. She loved him with all his darkness. She would hug him nd touch his face with gentle care when he would get low. And in return he would leave her hanging there and would keep her waiting when she needed him the most. He would make her feel like she was not good enough and then he would disappear. And it wasn’t just once.(She is an emotional fool, I must say.)
This sucks. Every time she promises herself that she won’t let him get back in her life. And every time she ends up letting herself down.
She was losing hope. She was losing herself. Guess that’s exactly how heartbreaks work. If it is her fault she wonders. If it’s always been her that things never work for her in love life. May be it is. But there’s nothing to be done about it. She shall just put that smile on her face and carry on with her life.